Homework 52 - Initial Theories of Human Relationships

Everyday of our lives we are interacting with humans, associating ourselves with strangers, friends, coworkers, loved ones, etc. But what makes humans act the way we do? Why do we associate with some people the way we do? Why are we mean to some and nice to others? Why do we always strive to be better than someone else, turning life into a game filled with deceit and lies. Why do we distinguish each other by ethnicities, gender, and race? Now I don’t have the answer to all these questions, but I do have a couple of theories.

Humans need social interactions in their daily lives; otherwise they feel alone and cut off from the world. Without the feelings of being loved, or feeling that they matter to someone, humans will feel a sense of isolation which results in a sense of alienation and thoughts of suicide. As humans, we are nurtured from the beginning, back when we were little babies and people use to go crazy over us and our mothers would fuss over every little thing we did, to the end, when we are old and have to have people perform tasks for us because we are too weak to. Every stage of our lives involves other humans, and every institution we are forced into makes us learn to interact with others.

Along with establishing relationships, humans are always trying to set a status or reputation or the society the live in. And one way of doing this is by having power and be among the top rungs of a social ladder. We are always taught to want the best in life, to want everything and lose nothing, to lie, cheat, and con others in order to get to the top. Now you might disagree, but everyone does it, whether they are aware of it or not. As humans we always want what somebody else has, and we will do anything to achieve it. As adults, humans always want to have power and money, the two major factors of living a meaningful life. Once you hit it big, you feel as if your life is meaningful.

One big factor that dictates our lives is the feeling of love. Whether it be for family, friends, or a significant other, love is the bond we all share. But what exactly is the definition of love? What makes us as humans search for love, to make it our life mission to settle down with our significant other, or to build meaningful relationships with friends and families? In my opinion, there is no universal definition for the word love. How can someone tell someone else what love means? Today in class, Adam Wardas asked Gavin McCarthy and I what the definition of love was, and I was stumped. How can I sum up such a powerful emotion in a couple of words? Better yet, how can I explain how I see love, when Adam could see it completely different? To me, there are two types of love. One is the love you have for friends and family. That type of love is the bond that will never break, the bond that people share in order to feel connected to each other. The second type of love is the intimate bond between you and your significant other. This type of love is the love that makes you feel as if you are on top of the world when you are with this person, and they constantly make you happy. They constantly make you feel special, and they constantly make you feel as if you matter to them. Now feel free to disagree with me, after all, love is an emotion, and each person experiences emotions in different ways. However, most people encompass love in their lives in order to make themselves feel as if their life is meaningful. The theory of love ties back to the theory of humans needing social interactions in their lives. Love makes people feel wanted, it makes them feel as if they matter to someone.

Now the confusing thing about love? People are always saying that people throw the words “I love you” around way too easily. To some extent, I agree, but to some extent I have to disagree. I have to agree that the girl who claims she is in love with her boyfriend that breaks up with him and moves on to the next guy and claims she is in love with him also is just throwing the words around. She doesn’t understand what it means to be “in love” if she can say she is “in love” with each guy she meets and ends up with. But I believe there is a difference between saying “I love you” and “I am in love with you”. For example, I love my friends, I love my family, and I love my boyfriend. But I am not “in love” with any of them. I believe that love is just the feeling you get when you are happy with the people surrounding you. I love my best friends, they make me happy and I love spending time with them. I love my family, even though they annoy me sometimes. And I love my boyfriend, but I am not “in” love with him. I love spending time with him, and he makes me happy, but I doubt he’s my soul mate, or the person I am going to spend the rest of my life with. I say “I love you” easily to a lot of people, but that’s because I understand the extent to which I mean it. I can go up to Carrie Li, and say “I love you”, and it will be true. I do indeed love her, I love her to death, and she’s one of my best friends in the world. Did I throw those words around like they mean nothing? No I don’t think I did. Now if I just met a guy and started going out with him, and after two days I claimed to be “in love” with him, then yes indeed I would be throwing the words around. I think people fail to understand that there is a difference between saying you “love” someone and you’re “in love” with someone. So next time you want to criticize someone for throwing around the words “I love you”, stop and think about how they mean those words. The saying goes “don’t judge a book by its cover”, so let’s not judge someone by their word choice.

As humans, we are bred to love, to hurt, to deceit, to betray, to trust, to lie, to compete for what we want. We all have an ultimate goal in live, and will strive at anything to reach that goal. But how do the ways we as humans interact with others help us learn about our species? In this unit I hope to understand why humans interact with each other the way they do, and why some humans chose to isolate themselves from society.