After conducting several interviews and hearing several perspectives, I have came to the conclusion that I will not be mentally prepared to have a child until I am around the age of thirty or so. I never realized how hard it is to take care of a child before I spoke to actual parents and they told us their experiences.
In class we had two guest speakers, Mr. Marks and Mrs. Plaza. Both are parents, and both came in to talk about the birthing process and how being a parent has changed their mindsets. Mrs. Plaza told us that having a child is” hard work” and that you have to be “mentally ready to have one”. So often on television, we see teenagers having babies at the age of sixteen and seventeen, but we often don’t realize how severely having a baby impacts your life. We watch these shows thinking we don’t ever want to be that person, we don’t want to have a child at such a young age, but in reality we don’t know to what extent having a child really changes you. Mrs. Plaza said she had a case of the “baby blues”, which is like post-partum depression, but a less severe case. She thought about “abandoning” her child, she didn’t care for it for a short time, and she was just always depressed. Mr. Marks also said that his wife had a case of depression after the birth of their child. You would think that having a child would be the most wonderful thing in your life; after all you just continued your family line and brought a human being into the world. But supposedly, having a case of depression is quite common for mothers. It is kind of depressing to think about, knowing that you just went through nine months of pain and several hours of labor contractions in order to have a child, and then you don’t even care for it.
Through this mini-unit, I have to admit I learned a lot about parenting. Recently I have become a fan of watching 16 and pregnant, and I always think “I would probably kill myself if I was that person”. I always wondered how people could have a baby at such a young age, and watching these shows made me think about that even more. After listening to Mr. Marks and Mrs. Plaza talk about “baby blues” and how big a responsibility is to take a child, I don’t think I want to have a child for another ten or fifteen years. I want to be able to have a stable career and marry someone before having a child, because I know myself, and I know I will not be able to take care of a little one. During the summer I work at camp, and I love my kids, but at the end of the day I can just return them to their parents, especially if they are annoying me. Having children are a full time job and I don’t think most teenagers around my age are ready for that job just yet. We’re still young and enjoying life, we can’t take care of somebody else.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
Homework 57- Parenting 101
As a teenager with rules and a curfew, I always promised myself I would be that “cool” parent, the parent that lets my child do whatever they want as long as they get good grades and stay safe. I hate having a curfew, when my friends don’t. I hate having to always call my mom and tell her where I am, and I hate feeling that my parents don’t trust me (because honest to God, what parent trusts their teenage daughter?). I always try to do my best in school, and in return I would like to have a later curfew and some freedom. I don’t do anything for my parents not to trust me. What I am basically trying to say is that I want to be that cool, nonchalant, loving, caring parent, the parent that my kids are not embarrassed to be around. But I never thought about how hard it actually is to be a parent, especially of a teenager. At my current age, I feel that I should be treated as an adult, but my parents don’t think the same. Which results in a clash of minds.
I believe that the perfect parent would be the parent that has some rules and boundaries for their child, but also lets them make mistakes. I find that I learn best from making my own mistakes. People tell me not to do something, and what do I do? I do it anyway, just to experience it for myself. We as humans are constantly making mistakes to improve our wellbeing, and parents need to realize that our young minds are still developing, and we need to be able to explore what the world has to offer. However, I believe a child should try their best in school, meaning getting a B as the lowest grade they will receive. Think of it as a compromise, the child receives freedom and only some boundaries, but in return they produce a report card with straight A’s and make it into a good college. Sounds about fair in my opinion. I think parenting is all about compromise, what works best for both parties? Now I don’t believe that a child/teenager can be out all night, getting wasted and ending up in jail. I believe that can hang out with their friends and have fun, as long as they are staying safe and not doing anything stupid.
I do believe that my parents are good parents though; I am not going to lie. Over the years, my mom and I had a rocky relationship, because neither of us was willing to compromise. About two years back, I absolutely hated her guts, as I am sure she did mine. I would go out practically every weekend, and break curfew all the time (but with a ten o’clock curfew, who could blame me?) I hung out with the worst people, and completely messed up my first semester of junior year, because I just didn’t care about anything. I had a boyfriend at the time, and spent all my time with him and his friends. My mom hated him, which made him so much more attractive, on my opinion. We barely talked about anything, and I had so much teenage angst that when she would talk to me I would completely blow her off. Things got a little better a couple of months later, as I dumped the guy and started to focus more on my schoolwork. But then things went down the hill again, as I started dating a new guy whom my parents liked at first. But after ten months, they detested his guts. They hated who he was, and how he treated me, and how he changed my outlook on life. They claimed he had no future goals, and always reminded me that school work came before anything. We got in so many arguments about him, and once again I broke curfew and lied about where I was and who I was with just to be with him. Once we broke up, I started to talk to my mom about my feelings, and open up more, because I needed someone to listen to me and she was there. Our relationship started to rebuild, and we became friends once again. Now I am always telling her about my day, about the latest gossip, or about whoever else is new in my life. My curfew is flexible, and I no longer lie about who I am with or what I am doing. Throughout all of this, I have to give my mom props, because through writing all of this down, I realized I was not the best daughter in the world. However, she never gave up on me, and always pushed me to achieve my dreams. That’s one thing I believe every parent should do, make their children set a dream and work towards it. My dream at the beginning of senior year was to make it into Northeastern University, and my mom never doubted me even though I believed she did at some points. Once I did get in, she worked her hardest to help me receive aid to attend the school, and now that is my school I will be attending for college.
One piece of advice my mother always told me was to set a goal for any and everything you do, and work towards it no matter what happens along the way. I use to be satisfied with getting B’s in my classes, but my mother made me realize that if I push myself, I could do so much better. A good parent has to show their children that they can achieve their dream, and always remind their child that they will be there supporting them through any and everything that happens. Although parents and their children might fight, they are still connected through a bond, and that bond will never break no matter what happens.
For the texts, I chose to read the article “When Parenting Theories Backfire”. I found this article hilarious for two reasons, the kids sounded adorable although a little troublesome, and this theory is not the brightest theory I ever heard of. Sure, you would assume that giving children some sort of choice makes them feel as if they have power over their decisions, but honestly, why do children need such power? After giving a child endless options, they begin to take advantage of them, thinking that everything their parent offers them is a choice, not a demand. Gradually, when a child gets older, I do believe that they should be able to have a say in the matter, but at the tender age of five or six, why the need for free choice? I think that when kids get freedom of choice at such an early stage, they go through life thinking that everything is catered to their needs and preferences, thus making them spoiled brats. Parents need to decide when the best age to give their children freedom of choice is.
For the second text, I chose to read the article “Ferber Method”. This method actually made more sense than the above theory, because it helped the child become more independent. By extending the periods to which you check on your child when they are falling asleep, you are showing the child that they are becoming independent, and don’t need to rely on someone else to help them fall asleep. This helps the child not become too dependent on their parents, and gives them a sense of power by being alone.
I believe that the perfect parent would be the parent that has some rules and boundaries for their child, but also lets them make mistakes. I find that I learn best from making my own mistakes. People tell me not to do something, and what do I do? I do it anyway, just to experience it for myself. We as humans are constantly making mistakes to improve our wellbeing, and parents need to realize that our young minds are still developing, and we need to be able to explore what the world has to offer. However, I believe a child should try their best in school, meaning getting a B as the lowest grade they will receive. Think of it as a compromise, the child receives freedom and only some boundaries, but in return they produce a report card with straight A’s and make it into a good college. Sounds about fair in my opinion. I think parenting is all about compromise, what works best for both parties? Now I don’t believe that a child/teenager can be out all night, getting wasted and ending up in jail. I believe that can hang out with their friends and have fun, as long as they are staying safe and not doing anything stupid.
I do believe that my parents are good parents though; I am not going to lie. Over the years, my mom and I had a rocky relationship, because neither of us was willing to compromise. About two years back, I absolutely hated her guts, as I am sure she did mine. I would go out practically every weekend, and break curfew all the time (but with a ten o’clock curfew, who could blame me?) I hung out with the worst people, and completely messed up my first semester of junior year, because I just didn’t care about anything. I had a boyfriend at the time, and spent all my time with him and his friends. My mom hated him, which made him so much more attractive, on my opinion. We barely talked about anything, and I had so much teenage angst that when she would talk to me I would completely blow her off. Things got a little better a couple of months later, as I dumped the guy and started to focus more on my schoolwork. But then things went down the hill again, as I started dating a new guy whom my parents liked at first. But after ten months, they detested his guts. They hated who he was, and how he treated me, and how he changed my outlook on life. They claimed he had no future goals, and always reminded me that school work came before anything. We got in so many arguments about him, and once again I broke curfew and lied about where I was and who I was with just to be with him. Once we broke up, I started to talk to my mom about my feelings, and open up more, because I needed someone to listen to me and she was there. Our relationship started to rebuild, and we became friends once again. Now I am always telling her about my day, about the latest gossip, or about whoever else is new in my life. My curfew is flexible, and I no longer lie about who I am with or what I am doing. Throughout all of this, I have to give my mom props, because through writing all of this down, I realized I was not the best daughter in the world. However, she never gave up on me, and always pushed me to achieve my dreams. That’s one thing I believe every parent should do, make their children set a dream and work towards it. My dream at the beginning of senior year was to make it into Northeastern University, and my mom never doubted me even though I believed she did at some points. Once I did get in, she worked her hardest to help me receive aid to attend the school, and now that is my school I will be attending for college.
One piece of advice my mother always told me was to set a goal for any and everything you do, and work towards it no matter what happens along the way. I use to be satisfied with getting B’s in my classes, but my mother made me realize that if I push myself, I could do so much better. A good parent has to show their children that they can achieve their dream, and always remind their child that they will be there supporting them through any and everything that happens. Although parents and their children might fight, they are still connected through a bond, and that bond will never break no matter what happens.
For the texts, I chose to read the article “When Parenting Theories Backfire”. I found this article hilarious for two reasons, the kids sounded adorable although a little troublesome, and this theory is not the brightest theory I ever heard of. Sure, you would assume that giving children some sort of choice makes them feel as if they have power over their decisions, but honestly, why do children need such power? After giving a child endless options, they begin to take advantage of them, thinking that everything their parent offers them is a choice, not a demand. Gradually, when a child gets older, I do believe that they should be able to have a say in the matter, but at the tender age of five or six, why the need for free choice? I think that when kids get freedom of choice at such an early stage, they go through life thinking that everything is catered to their needs and preferences, thus making them spoiled brats. Parents need to decide when the best age to give their children freedom of choice is.
For the second text, I chose to read the article “Ferber Method”. This method actually made more sense than the above theory, because it helped the child become more independent. By extending the periods to which you check on your child when they are falling asleep, you are showing the child that they are becoming independent, and don’t need to rely on someone else to help them fall asleep. This helps the child not become too dependent on their parents, and gives them a sense of power by being alone.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Homework 56 - Interviews and Survey Question
Questions:
1. Would you ever try an online dating website?
2. Do you think a relationship started because of an online dating website will last? Why or why not?
3. If you were to participate in an online dating website, what would be some questions you would ask to help you get to know someone?
Results:
Interview with my mom:
Would you every try an online dating website?
no because I would not trust it.
Do you think a relationship started because of an online dating website will last? Why or why not?
no it will not last because only crazy or desperate people go online dating.
If you were to participate in an online dating website, what would be some of the questions you would ask to help you get to know someone?
what do you like, what are your interests, what do you like to do with your free time, what’s your favorite movie?
Interview with my sister:
Would you every try an online dating website?
no because I don’t think it would be accurate.
Do you think a relationship started because of an online dating website will last? Why or why not?
no because you’re meeting the person online.
If you were to participate in an online dating website, what would be some of the questions you would ask to help you get to know someone?
what do you like to do, how would you describe yourself, what do you look for in a person?
Interview with my friend Yang:
Would you every try an online dating website?
nope
Do you think a relationship started because of an online dating website will last? Why or why not?
possibly because it really depends on the people and how they are in a relationship or how they get along etc., not how they met.
If you were to participate in an online dating website, what would > be
some of the questions you would ask to help you get to know someone?
many.... basics: name, age, school/job, fam
then other things like exs, longest relationships& why they ended, where they live, what they lilke to do for fun ex hobbies, fav sports etc so i know we would agree on plans when we go out etc.
Interview with Carrie Li:
Would you ever try an online dating website?
Maybe, but only when I get really desperate and can't find anyone I like otherwise
Do you think a relationship started because of an online dating website will last? Why or why not?
Yes. Just because you're meeting them online doesn't make them freaks. I'm sure you can find a real genuine person online that's looking for the same things as you do.
If you were to participate in an online dating website, what would be some questions you would ask to help you get to know someone?
Hobbies, what kind of movies/music you like, future goals, questions that will get them to show their personalities
Results Analysis
These interviews actually did not provide me with any new insight into my research question, because the three people I interviewed told me they would not try a dating website. I asked some of my other friends if they would, and they also said no. This made me realize that finding somebody who would use an online dating website will be hard, because most of my friends are my age and have no trouble finding guys, and my family members are married. As a teenager, we don’t think about using online dating websites because we can just step outside and meet new people, especially since we are going to college soon. Online dating websites are for people who cannot meet other people they match with on their own, and need the help of others. Although it was hard to find people who would use or used online dating websites, I am not going to change my research question because I still am interested in how well they work out.
Survery Question
On a scale on 1-10, how accurate do you believe online dating websites and compatibility matches are in creating a lasting relationship, would you try an online dating website?
1. Would you ever try an online dating website?
2. Do you think a relationship started because of an online dating website will last? Why or why not?
3. If you were to participate in an online dating website, what would be some questions you would ask to help you get to know someone?
Results:
Interview with my mom:
Would you every try an online dating website?
no because I would not trust it.
Do you think a relationship started because of an online dating website will last? Why or why not?
no it will not last because only crazy or desperate people go online dating.
If you were to participate in an online dating website, what would be some of the questions you would ask to help you get to know someone?
what do you like, what are your interests, what do you like to do with your free time, what’s your favorite movie?
Interview with my sister:
Would you every try an online dating website?
no because I don’t think it would be accurate.
Do you think a relationship started because of an online dating website will last? Why or why not?
no because you’re meeting the person online.
If you were to participate in an online dating website, what would be some of the questions you would ask to help you get to know someone?
what do you like to do, how would you describe yourself, what do you look for in a person?
Interview with my friend Yang:
Would you every try an online dating website?
nope
Do you think a relationship started because of an online dating website will last? Why or why not?
possibly because it really depends on the people and how they are in a relationship or how they get along etc., not how they met.
If you were to participate in an online dating website, what would > be
some of the questions you would ask to help you get to know someone?
many.... basics: name, age, school/job, fam
then other things like exs, longest relationships& why they ended, where they live, what they lilke to do for fun ex hobbies, fav sports etc so i know we would agree on plans when we go out etc.
Interview with Carrie Li:
Would you ever try an online dating website?
Maybe, but only when I get really desperate and can't find anyone I like otherwise
Do you think a relationship started because of an online dating website will last? Why or why not?
Yes. Just because you're meeting them online doesn't make them freaks. I'm sure you can find a real genuine person online that's looking for the same things as you do.
If you were to participate in an online dating website, what would be some questions you would ask to help you get to know someone?
Hobbies, what kind of movies/music you like, future goals, questions that will get them to show their personalities
Results Analysis
These interviews actually did not provide me with any new insight into my research question, because the three people I interviewed told me they would not try a dating website. I asked some of my other friends if they would, and they also said no. This made me realize that finding somebody who would use an online dating website will be hard, because most of my friends are my age and have no trouble finding guys, and my family members are married. As a teenager, we don’t think about using online dating websites because we can just step outside and meet new people, especially since we are going to college soon. Online dating websites are for people who cannot meet other people they match with on their own, and need the help of others. Although it was hard to find people who would use or used online dating websites, I am not going to change my research question because I still am interested in how well they work out.
Survery Question
On a scale on 1-10, how accurate do you believe online dating websites and compatibility matches are in creating a lasting relationship, would you try an online dating website?
Monday, May 10, 2010
Homework 55
Part One
The topic I hope to explore is the relationship between two people. I want to explore what romantically links two people to each other. In this topic, I plan to explore how dating websites and compatibility surveys match two people up and how often these websites and surveys are successful in pairing two people in a long term relationship. My question will be something along the lines of “how does online dating and compatibility matches create a lasting relationship for a couple?”
Revised question:
How accurate are the online dating and compatibility matches in creating a lasting relationship, and how often do relationships come about through the use of an online dating website?
Part Two
Kate,
I really liked this question "Is friendship worth the emotional drama we feel for the little time we actually feel good to be in the company of others?", but i wonder, how exactly can you research this topic? it seems more opininated and less research filled. Maybe you can create a survery in a research based style that can help you generate answers for this question? it seems rather tricky otherwise.
otherwise i think your topics and questions are well thought out and i like them.
-Rachel
Jia Min,
i like where you are going with your topic, i just think you need to focus in on one part of it more. it seems rather broad, and maybe if you set a limit to what you're exploring your research will become more narrow minded.
i think for the question "How does one feel to be a closer friend and how many boundaries does one need to cross to be that closer friends?", you should rephrase it such as "on what basis does a friend go from being a mutual aquaitance to a best friend?" something along those lines.
-Rachel
Part Three
Caruso, Great. "Does Match.com Really Work???." HubPages. 2010. Web. 10 May 2010..
This article is more of a blog post that details one woman’s experience in using the online dating website, match.com. She explains why it was helpful in her relationship, and gives a detailed explanation to how it helped her meet her husband.
"Online dating 'good for romance' ." BBC News [UK, 14 Feb. 2005: Web. 10 May 2010..
This article actually shows that online dating is good for creating a long-term lasting relationship. It talks about how bonds are created through the use of chatrooms and text messages, and then includes a debate where people share their opinions on this topic.
"Essay: The Disastrous Effects of Match.com and What Women Can Do About It." The Washington Post [Washington D.C, 28 Jan. 2007: Web. 10 May 2010..
This article was written by a woman who actually uses Match.com to find dates. It talks about how Match.com actually does not benefit women in the dating scene, because it creates an opportunity for men to be highly selective and picky. With Match.com, women feel the need to always look their best for men, and make sure they look exactly like how men want them to look like. It then goes on to talk about her personal experience using Match.com.
Morales, Tatiana. "'The Rules For Online Dating'." CBS News.com [New York City, NY] 2 Aug. 2002: Web. 10 May 2010..
This article is all about tips to online dating. It explains the rules to online dating, and how a woman should react to certain situations. Some of these tips come from the book "The Rules for Online Dating: Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right in Cyberspace."
The topic I hope to explore is the relationship between two people. I want to explore what romantically links two people to each other. In this topic, I plan to explore how dating websites and compatibility surveys match two people up and how often these websites and surveys are successful in pairing two people in a long term relationship. My question will be something along the lines of “how does online dating and compatibility matches create a lasting relationship for a couple?”
Revised question:
How accurate are the online dating and compatibility matches in creating a lasting relationship, and how often do relationships come about through the use of an online dating website?
Part Two
Kate,
I really liked this question "Is friendship worth the emotional drama we feel for the little time we actually feel good to be in the company of others?", but i wonder, how exactly can you research this topic? it seems more opininated and less research filled. Maybe you can create a survery in a research based style that can help you generate answers for this question? it seems rather tricky otherwise.
otherwise i think your topics and questions are well thought out and i like them.
-Rachel
Jia Min,
i like where you are going with your topic, i just think you need to focus in on one part of it more. it seems rather broad, and maybe if you set a limit to what you're exploring your research will become more narrow minded.
i think for the question "How does one feel to be a closer friend and how many boundaries does one need to cross to be that closer friends?", you should rephrase it such as "on what basis does a friend go from being a mutual aquaitance to a best friend?" something along those lines.
-Rachel
Part Three
Caruso, Great. "Does Match.com Really Work???." HubPages. 2010. Web. 10 May 2010.
This article is more of a blog post that details one woman’s experience in using the online dating website, match.com. She explains why it was helpful in her relationship, and gives a detailed explanation to how it helped her meet her husband.
"Online dating 'good for romance' ." BBC News [UK, 14 Feb. 2005: Web. 10 May 2010.
This article actually shows that online dating is good for creating a long-term lasting relationship. It talks about how bonds are created through the use of chatrooms and text messages, and then includes a debate where people share their opinions on this topic.
"Essay: The Disastrous Effects of Match.com and What Women Can Do About It." The Washington Post [Washington D.C, 28 Jan. 2007: Web. 10 May 2010.
This article was written by a woman who actually uses Match.com to find dates. It talks about how Match.com actually does not benefit women in the dating scene, because it creates an opportunity for men to be highly selective and picky. With Match.com, women feel the need to always look their best for men, and make sure they look exactly like how men want them to look like. It then goes on to talk about her personal experience using Match.com.
Morales, Tatiana. "'The Rules For Online Dating'." CBS News.com [New York City, NY] 2 Aug. 2002: Web. 10 May 2010.
This article is all about tips to online dating. It explains the rules to online dating, and how a woman should react to certain situations. Some of these tips come from the book "The Rules for Online Dating: Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right in Cyberspace."
Homework 54
My Result:
Extroverted (E) 68.42% Introverted (I) 31.58%
Sensing (S) 53.13% Intuitive (N) 46.88%
Feeling (F) 58.33% Thinking (T) 41.67%
Judging (J) 52.63% Perceiving (P) 47.37%
Free Jung Personality Test (similar to Myers-Briggs/MBTI)
These results actually surprised me a bit, to be honest. I felt that these results connected to me extremely well, they describe me exactly. A couple of weeks ago, we took a personality career oriented test from Devry University in college class, and my result was that I should go into the marketing or hospitality field. Looking at the results shown above, it seems as if the results are also oriented into a marketing field. I do feel as if I am “sociable” and a fairly well “hostess”. I also feel as if I am extroverted, I love being around people and being social. I do feel that I sense instead of using my institution, and rely a lot on my emotions instead of logically figuring something out. Last I do feel that I judge more than I perceive, as I am more focused on materialistic items and first opinions than on theories and practicalities. What really surprised me was that only 12.3% of the total population received this result after taking this test. That’s a pretty large number compared to the other numbers that people received on their results, and makes me think that a lot of people in our society are like me.
In class, we discussed the results from the Myers-Briggs test, and found that most people did indeed match up with their results. For example, Kate and Carrie received a result telling them that they were introverted, which is true on their part, and I received a result telling me that I was extroverted, which is also true. Right away we could tell who was introverted and who was extroverted without even having them tell us their result from the test, because we were able to judge them by their personalities. The other parts of the result, such as if they were sensing or intuitive, feeling or thinking, or judging or perceiving, were harder to decide right on the spot about somebody. These parts required a little more thought, a little more knowledge about the person in question. Overall I think this test was extremely successful in describing what each person’s personality is like.
Extroverted (E) 68.42% Introverted (I) 31.58%
Sensing (S) 53.13% Intuitive (N) 46.88%
Feeling (F) 58.33% Thinking (T) 41.67%
Judging (J) 52.63% Perceiving (P) 47.37%
| ESFJ - "Seller". Most sociable of all types. Nurturer of harmony. Outstanding host or hostesses. 12.3% of total population. |
These results actually surprised me a bit, to be honest. I felt that these results connected to me extremely well, they describe me exactly. A couple of weeks ago, we took a personality career oriented test from Devry University in college class, and my result was that I should go into the marketing or hospitality field. Looking at the results shown above, it seems as if the results are also oriented into a marketing field. I do feel as if I am “sociable” and a fairly well “hostess”. I also feel as if I am extroverted, I love being around people and being social. I do feel that I sense instead of using my institution, and rely a lot on my emotions instead of logically figuring something out. Last I do feel that I judge more than I perceive, as I am more focused on materialistic items and first opinions than on theories and practicalities. What really surprised me was that only 12.3% of the total population received this result after taking this test. That’s a pretty large number compared to the other numbers that people received on their results, and makes me think that a lot of people in our society are like me.
In class, we discussed the results from the Myers-Briggs test, and found that most people did indeed match up with their results. For example, Kate and Carrie received a result telling them that they were introverted, which is true on their part, and I received a result telling me that I was extroverted, which is also true. Right away we could tell who was introverted and who was extroverted without even having them tell us their result from the test, because we were able to judge them by their personalities. The other parts of the result, such as if they were sensing or intuitive, feeling or thinking, or judging or perceiving, were harder to decide right on the spot about somebody. These parts required a little more thought, a little more knowledge about the person in question. Overall I think this test was extremely successful in describing what each person’s personality is like.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Homework 53 -Survey Analysis
This survey had some interesting questions, some were straightforward and easy to answer, and some required a little bit of thought. One of the questions was “Do your parent(s)/ guardian(s) know who you really are?” or something like that, and this question stumped me. If course they don’t, I first thought. I don’t tell them everything that goes on in my life, as it is better that way. Yes I tell them the important stuff, but little details such as what I ate for lunch or who I met (if I met someone new) seem to escape my mind. But this question made me think about if anyone really knows the real you. I believe that everyone puts on a different face when interacting with different people, so how can someone really truly know who you are? Honestly, I highly doubt 75% of people even know who they really are. We can say who we think we are, but truly we are all actors and actresses trying to fit into a role that society molds for us.
There was also another question that said “are you happy” or something along those lines, and I again had to stop and think. Am I happy? Well, I guess you could say I am. Sometimes I feel as if school is pointless, or I say the very common saying “f*** my life”, but does that mean I’m unhappy? I believe that I am happy with my life, and I am happy a lot of the time. I have an amazing family (who annoy me at times), the best of friends, and a lot of wonderful opportunities that can open doors for my future. So I guess you could say yes I am happy. But this question makes me pose another question, what makes someone unhappy?
Some of the results to this survey actually surprised me a bit. The questions that I had a hard time answering seemed to generate the most shocking results, in my opinion. One of the questions/statements was “you know something about your family you wish you didn’t”, and I had the hardest time answering this question. I had to think hard, but in the end I couldn’t come up with something that I know about them that I wish I didn’t know. However, a lot of people said they did indeed know something about their family that they wish they didn’t. I was curious as to who answered yes to this question, and to what they know about their family that is so bad that they wish they didn’t know. Another question/statement that stumped me was “your family would/do accept you if you were/are gay.” I would like to say yes they would, but honestly I don’t think they would. In my family it is not looked down upon to be gay, we have a cousin who we are convinced is. However, I don’t believe it would be as accepted in my immediate family (such as my mother and father) as it would be if it happened to my cousin and my immediate family were the ones judging. A lot of people actually said that their family would support them, and while it should not have surprised me, it did. In my family, I am use to strict rules and regulations, and to see someone’s answer that their family would support them if they were/are gay, it shocked me. One of the biggest surprises I received in looking at these results, however, were how many people said yes to the statement “I feel happy alone”. When I first read this question, I thought it meant “I feel happier alone”, but now I realize it means just being content even though you are by yourself. In our society, I always feel that people feel happier when they are around other people, especially in our school. It seems that everyone in our school has friends, and everyone is always hanging out with somebody else. But when people agreed that they felt happy alone, I reconsidered my previous thought. “Who are these people that answered yes to this statement?” I thought, “are any of them my friends?” I admit when reading the results to this survey; I was a tad curious as to who answered yes or no to certain questions.
I read the survey results from the article “DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND MENTAL HYGIENE LAUNCHES HEALTHY TEENS INITIATIVE” and some of these results actually shocked me. Nearly 50% of New York City public high school students have had sex, and one in ten have had sex before the age of thirteen. In my opinion, that is a ridiculously high number and people having sex before they are even of age to be a teenager? What is wrong with these kids now days? One similarity between these results and our survey results is that students in our school also admitted to being sexually active. Understandable, since we are seniors in high school. One thing that was different between our results and the results of the survey done by the department of health and mental hygiene is that people in our school use condoms or other safe-sex technology, while only 8% of sexually active teens reported to using birth control pills. 8% is not a very large number, and makes me wonder if anybody in our school has used birth control pills.
Between comparing these two survey results, I believe that I learned a lot. The best way to understand results is to compare two different types of results. When reading just our results, I only could look at the answers of the 52 people in our grade that chose to answer this survey. But when looking at a general study of New York City public students, I was able to look at a wide range of students, and then compare the results to the results from our survey. I was able to see what similarities and differences in results the two surveys generated.
There was also another question that said “are you happy” or something along those lines, and I again had to stop and think. Am I happy? Well, I guess you could say I am. Sometimes I feel as if school is pointless, or I say the very common saying “f*** my life”, but does that mean I’m unhappy? I believe that I am happy with my life, and I am happy a lot of the time. I have an amazing family (who annoy me at times), the best of friends, and a lot of wonderful opportunities that can open doors for my future. So I guess you could say yes I am happy. But this question makes me pose another question, what makes someone unhappy?
Some of the results to this survey actually surprised me a bit. The questions that I had a hard time answering seemed to generate the most shocking results, in my opinion. One of the questions/statements was “you know something about your family you wish you didn’t”, and I had the hardest time answering this question. I had to think hard, but in the end I couldn’t come up with something that I know about them that I wish I didn’t know. However, a lot of people said they did indeed know something about their family that they wish they didn’t. I was curious as to who answered yes to this question, and to what they know about their family that is so bad that they wish they didn’t know. Another question/statement that stumped me was “your family would/do accept you if you were/are gay.” I would like to say yes they would, but honestly I don’t think they would. In my family it is not looked down upon to be gay, we have a cousin who we are convinced is. However, I don’t believe it would be as accepted in my immediate family (such as my mother and father) as it would be if it happened to my cousin and my immediate family were the ones judging. A lot of people actually said that their family would support them, and while it should not have surprised me, it did. In my family, I am use to strict rules and regulations, and to see someone’s answer that their family would support them if they were/are gay, it shocked me. One of the biggest surprises I received in looking at these results, however, were how many people said yes to the statement “I feel happy alone”. When I first read this question, I thought it meant “I feel happier alone”, but now I realize it means just being content even though you are by yourself. In our society, I always feel that people feel happier when they are around other people, especially in our school. It seems that everyone in our school has friends, and everyone is always hanging out with somebody else. But when people agreed that they felt happy alone, I reconsidered my previous thought. “Who are these people that answered yes to this statement?” I thought, “are any of them my friends?” I admit when reading the results to this survey; I was a tad curious as to who answered yes or no to certain questions.
I read the survey results from the article “DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND MENTAL HYGIENE LAUNCHES HEALTHY TEENS INITIATIVE” and some of these results actually shocked me. Nearly 50% of New York City public high school students have had sex, and one in ten have had sex before the age of thirteen. In my opinion, that is a ridiculously high number and people having sex before they are even of age to be a teenager? What is wrong with these kids now days? One similarity between these results and our survey results is that students in our school also admitted to being sexually active. Understandable, since we are seniors in high school. One thing that was different between our results and the results of the survey done by the department of health and mental hygiene is that people in our school use condoms or other safe-sex technology, while only 8% of sexually active teens reported to using birth control pills. 8% is not a very large number, and makes me wonder if anybody in our school has used birth control pills.
Between comparing these two survey results, I believe that I learned a lot. The best way to understand results is to compare two different types of results. When reading just our results, I only could look at the answers of the 52 people in our grade that chose to answer this survey. But when looking at a general study of New York City public students, I was able to look at a wide range of students, and then compare the results to the results from our survey. I was able to see what similarities and differences in results the two surveys generated.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Homework 52 - Initial Theories of Human Relationships
Everyday of our lives we are interacting with humans, associating ourselves with strangers, friends, coworkers, loved ones, etc. But what makes humans act the way we do? Why do we associate with some people the way we do? Why are we mean to some and nice to others? Why do we always strive to be better than someone else, turning life into a game filled with deceit and lies. Why do we distinguish each other by ethnicities, gender, and race? Now I don’t have the answer to all these questions, but I do have a couple of theories.
Humans need social interactions in their daily lives; otherwise they feel alone and cut off from the world. Without the feelings of being loved, or feeling that they matter to someone, humans will feel a sense of isolation which results in a sense of alienation and thoughts of suicide. As humans, we are nurtured from the beginning, back when we were little babies and people use to go crazy over us and our mothers would fuss over every little thing we did, to the end, when we are old and have to have people perform tasks for us because we are too weak to. Every stage of our lives involves other humans, and every institution we are forced into makes us learn to interact with others.
Along with establishing relationships, humans are always trying to set a status or reputation or the society the live in. And one way of doing this is by having power and be among the top rungs of a social ladder. We are always taught to want the best in life, to want everything and lose nothing, to lie, cheat, and con others in order to get to the top. Now you might disagree, but everyone does it, whether they are aware of it or not. As humans we always want what somebody else has, and we will do anything to achieve it. As adults, humans always want to have power and money, the two major factors of living a meaningful life. Once you hit it big, you feel as if your life is meaningful.
One big factor that dictates our lives is the feeling of love. Whether it be for family, friends, or a significant other, love is the bond we all share. But what exactly is the definition of love? What makes us as humans search for love, to make it our life mission to settle down with our significant other, or to build meaningful relationships with friends and families? In my opinion, there is no universal definition for the word love. How can someone tell someone else what love means? Today in class, Adam Wardas asked Gavin McCarthy and I what the definition of love was, and I was stumped. How can I sum up such a powerful emotion in a couple of words? Better yet, how can I explain how I see love, when Adam could see it completely different? To me, there are two types of love. One is the love you have for friends and family. That type of love is the bond that will never break, the bond that people share in order to feel connected to each other. The second type of love is the intimate bond between you and your significant other. This type of love is the love that makes you feel as if you are on top of the world when you are with this person, and they constantly make you happy. They constantly make you feel special, and they constantly make you feel as if you matter to them. Now feel free to disagree with me, after all, love is an emotion, and each person experiences emotions in different ways. However, most people encompass love in their lives in order to make themselves feel as if their life is meaningful. The theory of love ties back to the theory of humans needing social interactions in their lives. Love makes people feel wanted, it makes them feel as if they matter to someone.
Now the confusing thing about love? People are always saying that people throw the words “I love you” around way too easily. To some extent, I agree, but to some extent I have to disagree. I have to agree that the girl who claims she is in love with her boyfriend that breaks up with him and moves on to the next guy and claims she is in love with him also is just throwing the words around. She doesn’t understand what it means to be “in love” if she can say she is “in love” with each guy she meets and ends up with. But I believe there is a difference between saying “I love you” and “I am in love with you”. For example, I love my friends, I love my family, and I love my boyfriend. But I am not “in love” with any of them. I believe that love is just the feeling you get when you are happy with the people surrounding you. I love my best friends, they make me happy and I love spending time with them. I love my family, even though they annoy me sometimes. And I love my boyfriend, but I am not “in” love with him. I love spending time with him, and he makes me happy, but I doubt he’s my soul mate, or the person I am going to spend the rest of my life with. I say “I love you” easily to a lot of people, but that’s because I understand the extent to which I mean it. I can go up to Carrie Li, and say “I love you”, and it will be true. I do indeed love her, I love her to death, and she’s one of my best friends in the world. Did I throw those words around like they mean nothing? No I don’t think I did. Now if I just met a guy and started going out with him, and after two days I claimed to be “in love” with him, then yes indeed I would be throwing the words around. I think people fail to understand that there is a difference between saying you “love” someone and you’re “in love” with someone. So next time you want to criticize someone for throwing around the words “I love you”, stop and think about how they mean those words. The saying goes “don’t judge a book by its cover”, so let’s not judge someone by their word choice.
As humans, we are bred to love, to hurt, to deceit, to betray, to trust, to lie, to compete for what we want. We all have an ultimate goal in live, and will strive at anything to reach that goal. But how do the ways we as humans interact with others help us learn about our species? In this unit I hope to understand why humans interact with each other the way they do, and why some humans chose to isolate themselves from society.
Humans need social interactions in their daily lives; otherwise they feel alone and cut off from the world. Without the feelings of being loved, or feeling that they matter to someone, humans will feel a sense of isolation which results in a sense of alienation and thoughts of suicide. As humans, we are nurtured from the beginning, back when we were little babies and people use to go crazy over us and our mothers would fuss over every little thing we did, to the end, when we are old and have to have people perform tasks for us because we are too weak to. Every stage of our lives involves other humans, and every institution we are forced into makes us learn to interact with others.
Along with establishing relationships, humans are always trying to set a status or reputation or the society the live in. And one way of doing this is by having power and be among the top rungs of a social ladder. We are always taught to want the best in life, to want everything and lose nothing, to lie, cheat, and con others in order to get to the top. Now you might disagree, but everyone does it, whether they are aware of it or not. As humans we always want what somebody else has, and we will do anything to achieve it. As adults, humans always want to have power and money, the two major factors of living a meaningful life. Once you hit it big, you feel as if your life is meaningful.
One big factor that dictates our lives is the feeling of love. Whether it be for family, friends, or a significant other, love is the bond we all share. But what exactly is the definition of love? What makes us as humans search for love, to make it our life mission to settle down with our significant other, or to build meaningful relationships with friends and families? In my opinion, there is no universal definition for the word love. How can someone tell someone else what love means? Today in class, Adam Wardas asked Gavin McCarthy and I what the definition of love was, and I was stumped. How can I sum up such a powerful emotion in a couple of words? Better yet, how can I explain how I see love, when Adam could see it completely different? To me, there are two types of love. One is the love you have for friends and family. That type of love is the bond that will never break, the bond that people share in order to feel connected to each other. The second type of love is the intimate bond between you and your significant other. This type of love is the love that makes you feel as if you are on top of the world when you are with this person, and they constantly make you happy. They constantly make you feel special, and they constantly make you feel as if you matter to them. Now feel free to disagree with me, after all, love is an emotion, and each person experiences emotions in different ways. However, most people encompass love in their lives in order to make themselves feel as if their life is meaningful. The theory of love ties back to the theory of humans needing social interactions in their lives. Love makes people feel wanted, it makes them feel as if they matter to someone.
Now the confusing thing about love? People are always saying that people throw the words “I love you” around way too easily. To some extent, I agree, but to some extent I have to disagree. I have to agree that the girl who claims she is in love with her boyfriend that breaks up with him and moves on to the next guy and claims she is in love with him also is just throwing the words around. She doesn’t understand what it means to be “in love” if she can say she is “in love” with each guy she meets and ends up with. But I believe there is a difference between saying “I love you” and “I am in love with you”. For example, I love my friends, I love my family, and I love my boyfriend. But I am not “in love” with any of them. I believe that love is just the feeling you get when you are happy with the people surrounding you. I love my best friends, they make me happy and I love spending time with them. I love my family, even though they annoy me sometimes. And I love my boyfriend, but I am not “in” love with him. I love spending time with him, and he makes me happy, but I doubt he’s my soul mate, or the person I am going to spend the rest of my life with. I say “I love you” easily to a lot of people, but that’s because I understand the extent to which I mean it. I can go up to Carrie Li, and say “I love you”, and it will be true. I do indeed love her, I love her to death, and she’s one of my best friends in the world. Did I throw those words around like they mean nothing? No I don’t think I did. Now if I just met a guy and started going out with him, and after two days I claimed to be “in love” with him, then yes indeed I would be throwing the words around. I think people fail to understand that there is a difference between saying you “love” someone and you’re “in love” with someone. So next time you want to criticize someone for throwing around the words “I love you”, stop and think about how they mean those words. The saying goes “don’t judge a book by its cover”, so let’s not judge someone by their word choice.
As humans, we are bred to love, to hurt, to deceit, to betray, to trust, to lie, to compete for what we want. We all have an ultimate goal in live, and will strive at anything to reach that goal. But how do the ways we as humans interact with others help us learn about our species? In this unit I hope to understand why humans interact with each other the way they do, and why some humans chose to isolate themselves from society.
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